Down and Out

I expect you’ve all been sobbing into your pillows at the thought of how all those investment bankers are going to be leading straitened lives as a result of the financial crisis. Since most high-rollers have very little experience with this kind of thing, Bloomberg business news sought out conspicuous consumption expert Milton Pedraza to offer some advice on how to tighten the ol’ belt:

Living in “a huge McMansion” is out, and buying a “classic Colonial” is in, Pedraza said. Owning the biggest yacht is out, and choosing an environmentally friendly model is in, he said.

“I don’t think you’ll want to show up in your orange Lamborghini,” Pedraza said. `You might want to bring your navy blue BMW instead.”

Oversize watches are no-nos, he said, while classic timepieces are de rigueur. Likewise, forget $10,000 mobile phones and buy an iPhone instead.

Insignia mania will subside as the wealthy get frugal, Pedraza predicted. That should benefit brands like Hermes, Bottega Veneta, Salvatore Ferragamo, Patek Philippe and Vacheron Constantin, he said.

“Logo-free is optimal,” Pedraza said. “Logo-subdued is the next-best alternative.”

Meanwhile, Wachovia is sending 75 of its brokerage employees on an all-expenses-paid cruise through the Greek isles. Glad to see the pain is being shared around.