Schlock and Pshaw in Princeton

March 27, 2007

Now that the blogosphere-wide laughter triggered by Ann Althouse’s epic hissy fit over the indignities she suffers from left-wing Internet meanies is finally starting to die down, let me draw your attention to another tide of ridicule that’s slowly starting to build over an equally deserving target — one, moreover, with a New Jersey connection.

The fun starts at Whiskey Fire, where blogger Thers has composed a poem in heroic couplets in response to a Princeton-based warblogger who still can’t stop giggling over the absolutely outrageous bumper sticker he put on his car, just to show those anti-war lefties a thing or two.

Reading his blog, you’ll see that he’s one of those diehard sadsacks who still hasn’t quite figured out how badly he’s been suckered, who still imagines himself as a green-screen warrior standing beside George W. Bush in an alternate-universe version of the war epic 300, holding back swarms of turban’d terrorists. Actually, the movie character these lost boys really bring to mind is Robert DeNiro’s Max Cady at the end of Cape Fear, going down with a sinking boat, glaring and gibbering nonsense as the waters close over his head.

No gibbering from Thers, however:

So, my classy, darling TigerHawk,
How special ’tis to hear you squawk
Of how there’s simply nothing slicker
Then some dumbass bumpersticker
That says “Peace Had a Chance!”
(Ha! & I bet per you, fags dance in France!
This wingnut snark is a tedious thing,
Drink deep, who cares — ’tis just blathering.)

O! TigerHawk!
Your slogan just might pass for clever
If you could perhaps endeavor
To explain why if the nation sees as stupid
A war that’s long gone putrid,
We should blame this nightmare on all those
Who told you fucks to shut your nose
When the Iraq cheerleading
Was about to lead to bleeding
Of soldiers, kids, and moms and dads–
Because now we KNOW we’ve all been had.

Thers’s verse has already drawn the appreciative eye of none other than James Wolcott, so we’ve already got some Big Time Blogger momentum on our side.

Spread the word, New Jersey bloggers! Let’s make sure this Princeton turkey buzzard gets the credit he deserves.


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