The Conservative-English, English-Conservative Dictionary

April 15, 2007

ACTIVIST JUDGE 1. Any jurist, past or present, connected to a ruling inconvenient or displeasing to conservatives, or that may hamper the exercise of a current policy fad beloved of aforementioned conservatives.

CONSTITUTION 1. Ancient document that outwardly appears to prescribe separation of church and state, freedom of speech and numerous other rights to American citizens, but is actually loaded with secret coded messages endorsing unlimited power in the hands of the president, intrusion into daily life of religious views held by a narrow coalition of Christianist splinter sects, random arrests and secret detention of people with unacceptable skin hues and religious inclinations, and close monitoring of all American citizens by politically motivated Bush administration stooges. Said coded messages are apparent only to an elite cadre of conservative legal scholars trained in telepathy and Vulcan mind-melding over great distances and stretches of time (see STRICT CONSTRUCTIONISTS).

To be continued . . . 

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One Response to “The Conservative-English, English-Conservative Dictionary”

  1. Caveat Says:

    Neat!

    Our Canuck rednecks’ definition of an activist judge would be:

    A judge who interprets not only the language but also the intent of the Charter of Rights/Constitution, keeping in mind that the individual must be protected from the power of the State. A judge who is as objective and dispassionate in reaching his or her decisions as is humanly possible.

    Plus, what you said!


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