Ferguson and Garrett, Living On the Edge

May 29, 2007

Rise, everyone, and put your hands together for New Jersey legislators Mike Ferguson and Scott Garrett, doughty Republicans who understand that the real threat facing America isn’t the fact that their president has transformed Iraq into a sleepaway camp for terrorists looking to hone their urban warfare skills and use them in other countries. No, the threat that has them galloping faster than Paul Revere is the fact that the words “In God We Trust” are on the edges of the new $1 coins.

What, you don’t see the problem here? Don’t you understand that use of the coins means the word “God” will be gradually worn away, leaving anyone who buys a can of soda at the vending machine open to Satanic influence? That’s why Garrett and Ferguson bravely added their names to HR 2510, which would require that the big guy’s name be printed on the face of each coin, not the edge, so as to be shielded from friction by the devil’s fingernails.

As your heart swells with pride — or your lunch becomes buoyant — be sure to check in here and see how many other legislators signed aboard this particular ship of fools.      

When Linda Stender challenged Ferguson, the airwaves were thick with pro-Ferguson radio spots full of people chanting “Stender is a spender” like an aviary full of demented macaws. Maybe “Fergie is a flake” should be the rallying cry for the next election.   


4 Responses to “Ferguson and Garrett, Living On the Edge”

  1. Bill Bowman Says:

    I wonder if he’s still offering to show chicks he meets in D.C. bars his “pin.”

  2. Bill Bowman Says:

    Ferguson, that is.

  3. Glad to see my representative was absent from that list. But that should be no surprise as he is a Democrat.

  4. Alison Says:

    I was surprised to see a couple of Ds among that sea of Rs. . .

    It would be so funny if there were someone in charge who could respond, “fine, you don’t like it on the edge, I’ll take it off entirely.” That’s the way you deal with children. If you can’t share, neither of you gets to have it.

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