Rebranding Rove

December 19, 2007

Hard to believe that Karl Rove is having a hard time getting publishers interested in his proposed memoir. After all, aren’t science fiction and fantasy titles big sellers these days?

(Ba-dum, bish!)

But seriously, folks, the only chance Rove has of getting paid $3 million to recycle his old lies is if the book is set up along the lines of O.J. Simpson’s If I Did It. Title the book If I Helped the President Lie America Into a Ruinous, Evil War and I’ll be first in line to buy a copy. Or turn it into an as-told-to book by John Douglas and market it as part of his inside-the-mind-of-a-serial-killer franchise. As the Crain’s article points out, winger books aren’t doing quite as well as they have in the past, so it’s time to think in terms of rebranding.

The extent to which conservatives believe their own bullshit is truly remarkable, but even by that standard it’s amazing to think that ol’ Turd Blossom expects a multimillion-dollar payday for his literary voiding. Not even Rove’s old buddies on the talk show circuit could keep straight faces during his last round of appearances, and any publisher who expects to be able to market a Rove book as straight, trustworthy political history book is going to get hosed.      


2 Responses to “Rebranding Rove”

  1. Billy Says:

    I wouldn’t worry too awful much. I’m sure some right-wing publishing house will buy his story (of course, he’ll have to leave out all the really useful parts (lying us into a war, stealing elections, eviscerating the constitution, destroying our global credibility). Then, a bunch of right wing think tanks and right wing talk show hosts will buy 3 million copies (at a 99% discount) to distribute to listeners and other priviledged persons (and if you give the Discovery Institute just $10.00, we will send you a copy of Karl Rove’s bestselling book, Bush’t Turd Blossoms, as a thank you gift) and thus be able to claim it is a best-selling book.

    Wait. That would be dishonest. Rove’s friends would never be dishonest, would they?

  2. Billy Says:

    Sorry, the title of the book was meant to come out as “Bush’s Turd Blossoms”

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