Scarlet Faces

September 28, 2008

If the Rutgers University alumni in your neighborhood seem to be standing a little taller and walking with a bit more swagger than usual this weekend, it’s probably because the university’s big-time football team has scored a big-time honor: coach Greg Schiano and quarterback Mike Teel are sharing the “Goofball of the Week” laurels, bestowed by Bob Wojnowski of the Detroit News. Let him paint you a word picture:

Schiano is at least half a goofball for spurning Michigan to stay in New Jersey, where the Scarlet Knights are 0-3 and falling apart. Teel gets a well-earned share because he threw a late interception, then threw a punch at a teammate after Rutgers’ 23-21 loss to Navy. Schiano declined to suspend Teel for the incident. Rutgers’ opponents probably appreciate that.

As an alumnus reading this news, I felt the impulse to celebrate by peeling off a few Benjamins and flushing them down the toilet, just to keep in the spirit of the whole big-time football thing at my alma mater. Then good sense kicked in. When I’m in the presence of experts, my instinct is to step back and let them show everybody how it’s done, and when it comes to squandering cash, these guys have attained a state of Zen-like perfection. And to think that they do it while wearing uniforms with misspelled names? All I can say is: Keep chopping!  (Bird-dogged by Rutgers 1000.)