I was listening to Patton Oswalt’s My Weakness Is Strong on the train home last night. Hilarious guy, but this routine has gotten a little sad in retrospect. Actually, a lot sad.

Wonder what he would have to say now about the Folder in Chief?

Yeah, I know we dodged a bullet when Obama kept Cranky McCain and Caribou Barbie out of the White House. All props for that. Trouble is, there’ve been a few bullets since then, and instead of helping us dodge them, Obama has been letting the country take the hits in the name of — what do they call it? — bipartisanship. “Just stand still and let the Republicans shoot you in the leg,” Obama says. “They’ve promised not to shoot you in the head.” And the Republicans say: “Not today, that is.”

My Weakness Is Strong. Sounds like a swell all-purpose campaign slogan for the Democrats. Thanks a lot, guys.

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Policy Proposal I

November 5, 2008

When he makes his first social program proposals, President Obama should give them names like “The Blowing-Up Brown-Skinned People in the Desert Act” and “Entrepreneurial Tax Enhancement Act.” Because in pundit land, wars and tax cuts never have to be paid for, and all the intellect-shills who whooped and hollered for Gorge-Us George’s loot-and-plunder philosophy are going to start talking about austerity and fiscal prudence as soon as Obama takes the oath of office. A name that makes them nostalgic for the days of “Kick Their Ass and Take Their Gas” will keep them distracted long enough to get some sound policies enacted.

The next two months will see a furious round of last-minute looting and plundering as Bush and his cronies try to trash as much as they can before they have to go. Is there any way to get Gorge-Us George and Cardinal Fang out of power before Obama’s inauguration? I realize there’s a constitutional issue involved, but let’s face it — the Supreme Court owes us one.

If the Bushies get evicted ahead of schedule — tomorrow, let’s say — that will allow more time to air the place out and count the silverware. We could make a fill-in appointment for the transition, somebody more qualified and honest than Bush.

One of my Westies, for instance.