The Moron Magnet

May 19, 2007

Science and science education will take a giant step forward this Memorial Day when a 50,000-square-foot magnet for morons is activated in rural Petersburg, Kentucky, just over the state line from Cincinnati, Ohio. (If you follow the link, be sure to scroll down from the white space — some curious formatting at the site.)

The builders of this moron magnet, officially called the Creation Museum, expect the facility will generate a field of intellectual vacuity strong enough to attract some 250,000 ninnies, flakes and feebs in its first year of operation. They may be right. After all, the nonprofit ministry Answers in Genesis managed to attract $27 million in moron monies (aka, private donations) to build the facility, which will boast a huge replica of Noah’s Ark and animatronic displays showing Adam and Eve mingling with dinosaurs.

This moron magnet, like a smaller facility due to be activated in Florida, operates on the principle that there are plenty of people who are determined to swindle themselves and their children out of an education, and will travel great distances to pay upwards of two sawbucks each to be fed a comforting pablum of lies and superstition.

Science educators around the country are denouncing the moron magnet, as well they should, but I think we should also recognize the great public service being performed here by Answers in Genesis. Anyone who willingly goes out in public wearing swag from the Creation Museum gift shop is telling the world he is a gullible rube ripe to be taken advantage of by any con artist with a good line in Gospel patter. Any educator who tries to book a field trip to the Creation Museum is warning parents and administrators that he is a conniving fraud and a potential source of expensive litigation. Any church that sends its kids to the Creation Museum is notifying the community that it is a spawning pool for Christianist nonsense, and apt to engage in other forms of political and/or social mischief.

So by all means, let the Creation Museum fling open its doors. If the morons get to waste money on their own make-believe museums, they’ll have that much less time and energy to spend on trying to infiltrate places where real science is respected and taught.

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45 Responses to “The Moron Magnet”

  1. Caveat Says:

    I arrived here tonight and burst out laughing at your headline.

    And yes, I agree, let them franchise these things. Like flies to …

  2. Alison Says:

    Hey, you know how some anti-abortion groups tried to film the women going into clinics? Maybe someone should take pictures of the people going into this “museum”. Just a thought.


  3. As a tree-hugging-over-educated (Zoology/Chemistry(honors) Dent. School-drop-out old happy hippie. I must say that this justified rant, and Alison’s suggestion of snapping pics of those entering and leaving the moron magnet, really brightened my day – I wanted to say more, but you both covered it fairly well.

    Mike – The old Happy Hippie at:
    The Old Hippie’s Groovy Site
    The Old Hippie’s Groovy Blog
    “Frivolous Names – Serious Content”

  4. mparker Says:

    It is the weight of their sins alone that hold them on the earth.

    That way they don’t have to believe in magentism either.

    Sheesh!

  5. mee too Says:

    eh, regular folks might go just for amusement. I know I would. (if it is not too expensive)

    Ever see “The Thing? Mystery of the Desert”? Pretty funny (at least with mild pharmacological enhancements)

  6. rabsteen Says:

    haha nice one.

  7. gene214 Says:

    “After all, the nonprofit ministry Answers in Genesis managed to attract $27 million in moron monies ”

    I’d like to know if the so called “Office of Faith Based Initiatives” kicked in any taxpayer money for this monument to Red State stupidity

  8. Mark Says:

    Always nice to hear the “tolerant” left voice their “intellectual” opinions.

  9. Wilson Says:

    That’s funny Mark, you never hear those two words- “tolerant” and “intellectual” when talking about conservatives, why is that? Hmmmm….

  10. SplendidOne Says:

    I think that if anyone goes to the museum and sees buses from public school systems parked in the parking lot, a nice letter to the editor of the appropriate school district’s newspaper would be quite a nice thing to make happen.

    Mark: Tolerance for lies is simply stupidity.

  11. Brightshadows Says:

    Hey! What’s wrong with swindling kids out of an education? You’re dumb if you don’t know that Satan wasn’t a snake, it was a brontosaur!!

    I’m totally kidding.


  12. […] The Moron Magnet Science and science education will take a giant step forward this Memorial Day when a 50,000-square-foot magnet for […] […]

  13. fairlane Says:

    The RNC is going to be upset about this museum as well, the GOP already patented the name “Moron Magnet”.


  14. […] Here’s the blog post on ‘the Moron Magnet’ […]

  15. Alison Says:

    Looks like Mark has gotten his answers from Genesis.

    I read your blog post, Mark, and there isn’t anything in it that hasn’t been addressed time and time again by Scientists, and your arguments against liberal intolerance are practically a cut-and-paste job from an apologetics website.

    Science is not decided by committee, or subject to a vote. Because certain Christians want to see their holy book in science classes doesn’t make it science. Having lots of them insist that it be science doesn’t make it science. Believing really hard doesn’t make it science.

    Science, in fact, doesn’t involve belief at all. Nobody “believes” in evolution, because evolution itself has been observed, predicted, and tested. There are about 300,000 fossils of hominid creatures that have been found and catalogued – where exactly is that missing link supposed to be, and how many of them do you expect scientists to find, anyway? Darwin’s theory is the only thing that could possibly be called into question, but in the last 150 plus years, research and experimentation has done nothing but support it. (Unlike creationism, Darwin’s theory could indeed be falsified, one of the demonstrations that a theory is actually scientific. To say about a theological idea “You can’t prove it’s wrong” only adds fuel to the fire that it’s not science.)

    Even your aspersions cast upon the open-mindedness of liberals is typically hypocritical. There is nothing closed-minded about saying “this is not true. There is factual evidence that this is not true. It should not be represented as true, or taught to children as truth because it isn’t true.” Were the belief that was being pushed into the public eye that aliens planted us, or that we came from a magical thunderclap or (heaven forbid!) it’s all the doing of Allah, and the proof of this was a single book with a bunch of people believing it. . .Tell the truth, would the conservatives and religious sit back and nod and say , “Yep, that’s possible! Let’s put it in the science classes. Wouldn’t want to be closed-minded, now!” I don’t think so. In fact, if the Raelians were to open a museum showing the aliens putting fully-formed humans and dinosaurs custom made from their alien labs onto the earth, your blog post about it would read much like the one you’re complaining about here.

  16. ClapSo Says:

    This really is too funny! I have been laughing at the christian taliban for years, but this is the hardest I’ve laughed since jim baker’s jesus theme park collapsed into bankruptcy due to the fact it was a tax evading, pyramid scam.

  17. akk Says:

    Excellent post. I really needed the laugh.

  18. Jasper Says:

    Is it possible they could build the museum like a roach motel? If so, I suspect we could trap the remaining 28% of Bush supporters.

  19. suzie Says:

    While I laughed at this post, Im becoming increasingly alarmed at the level of intolerance displayed by all religions. belief is a matter of geography in birth, if Mark had been born in gaza would he be a suicide bomber? the scary part is that he, and those who have “faith”, probably wouldn’t even consider that he could have been born on the “otherside”. Why couldn’t the religious world given us a god that had a central theology of “think”

  20. Fringedweller Says:

    They have a REPLICA of Noah’s ark?

    ROFL

  21. DeanG Says:

    This brings to mind the day I had the misfortune to be in Washington D.C. at the same time as the “PromiseKeepers” rally a few years back – went to the museum on the mall which had exhibits on evolution. Watching the participants come in and look at the exhibits was incredibly sad; so many of them utterly rejected the science behind the exhibit because it disagreed with their interpretation of their Book. What was heartbreaking was the ones with kids, in overhearing their conversations, you could sense a new generation of people with closed minds being formed.


  22. “While I laughed at this post, Im [sic] becoming increasingly alarmed at the level of intolerance displayed by all religions”

    Or perhaps the intolerance shown on this board?

    You can disagree with young-earth creationists without this kind of disappointing display. It really takes away from your message and allows your opponents to marginalize your views.

    (BTW, I am a young earth creationist who doesn’t agree with teaching intelligent design in public schools.)

  23. mesablue Says:

    While I won’t be one to visit this museum, I also will not ridicule those who do.

    This post is a perfect example of “Moonbat Smart”.

    http://moralauthority.wordpress.com/2007/05/20/moonbat-smart/


  24. […] Update: I found a perfect example of Moonbat Smart here: The Moron Magnet. […]

  25. Scarecrow Says:

    Whew!!! and I was beginning to think I attracted them all. ROFL

  26. Erik Curtis Says:

    Side A:
    I don’t believe your views so I’m going to bash them and call them silly names.
    Side B:
    Oh yeah!! Well I don’t believe in your views so I’m going to bash them and call them silly names.
    (repeet)

  27. hymes Says:

    This is insulting to morons.

  28. NoOneYouKnow Says:

    I like the “roach motel” idea, though I see it more as a kind of holding pen in which the boneheads can mill around until they can be safely transferred to some sort of reserve; maybe South Dakota or one of the Deep South states, since they’re already designed for this kind of population. While they’re being detained, they might be shown such popular documentaries as “The Flintstones,” “Land of the Lost,” and “Davey and Goliath.”
    Wingnuts who are concerned about moonbat cruelty to holy rollers and mouthbreathers should stuff it, as moonbats reserve their ire for stupidity, while for wingnuts, stupidity is like rocket fuel.
    On the evolution side is the work of hundreds of thousands of the best minds of the past 150 years, plus an awful lot of what we moonbats like to call “facts.” On the Bible side is, uh, the Bible. It’s a great book, with some truly brilliant ideas (Jesus in particular; I wonder why so few follow his morality these days) and lovely writing, but it hasn’t been updated in about 1700 years. Besides the Bible, the creationists have zilch except for the tortured theories they’ve had to come up with to bolster their “worldview.” My personal favorite is that God put fossil sea creatures on mountaintops to “test our faith.” Like God doesn’t test our faith enough to begin with.
    So, seriously, wingnuts, if you don’t want to evolve with the rest of us, be prepared to be called on it.

  29. toasterhead Says:

    mesablue Says:
    May 21st, 2007 at 10:03 am

    While I won’t be one to visit this museum, I also will not ridicule those who do.

    Well good for you. I, on the other hand, will be not visiting the “museum” and will incessantly ridicule those who do. While there are many people out there who deserve my ridicule, it is the anti-science advocates and their followers for whom I hold a very special vehemence. It is the same anti-science mentality among Creationists that drives climate change denial and rapture-centered foreign policy. And with two out of five Americans showing up in polls as anti-science, there are quite a lot of morons to ridicule.

    That is, if you believe in statistics.

  30. macgyversrollofducttape Says:

    What if in the end, EVERYBODY is wrong?


  31. […] just had to laugh at another blog post; this one is called The Moron Magnet: Science and science education will take a giant step forward this Memorial Day when a […]

  32. Kaida Rose Says:

    Moron magnet. Good one.

  33. bosskitty Says:

    I must forgive everyone who dismisses science as a conspiracy. I know God does. America allows those released from mental hospitals to walk the same streets that we do. America should also have sympathy for those caught up in the cult of the Christian Identity Movement. They have every right to believe what they can understand. But! They have no right to impose their twisted beliefs onto other people!!!

  34. blueollie Says:

    My deity does not take kindly to this.

  35. astudent Says:

    Well, I’ll be. I was drawn to this post like a moth to…well… like a moron south pole to a moron north pole. I couldn’t believe my eyes there were 37 other morons that cared enough to comment (you and me make 39) yea you know we can count to 39, well you do now. But you de man. You’re de main moron, well you are in my book. That’s why I am drawn to you, you know. I use to feel bad when I looked in the mirror and there was a moron looking back. That’s why I grew a beard (to disguise myself, heck I don’t even know who I am now) you growed yours yet?
    Aw heck you probably ain’t even ashamed. I don’t care if you take my picture going into the Creation Museum, me being disguised and all, but if you do be sure your beard is on straight. I’m probably going to read all your stuff now, but then you probably figured that out already, me being a moron and all. Heck if it weren’t for us who would read your stuff?


  36. […] didn’t name the post, but I found it on the WordPress.com front page. When I saw the title “The Moron Magnet,” I knew it had to be that. Sure enough, it was: a harsh, unforgiving, and generally insulting […]


  37. […] Christians will today open a “Creation Museum” (or, ‘moron magnet’, as this blog eloquently puts it) in the USA.  Rather than being designed along the lines of a giant roach […]


  38. […] The creation museum (aka “moron magnet“) […]


  39. […] Devilstower at the Daily Kos writes about a trip to the Moron Magnet (aka “creationist museum”) so you don’t have to waste your […]

  40. MG Says:

    Hi. I really enjoyed this post! Funny stuff! I was brought here by way of Jon Swift’s post of our best of 2007 posts! I think I will drop by again sometime!

  41. Gerry Says:

    Ken Ham is living proof that Australians hump sheep


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